


The mirror to your heart

by Elephteria



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, One Shot, maybe i would turn this into a longer story rather than a one shot, reader is a haikyuu fan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28067427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elephteria/pseuds/Elephteria
Summary: She pushed him away. It was her fault. And now she had no way to undo what she had done.
Relationships: Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The mirror to your heart

You walk towards the gates of your school, a grey scarf wrapped around your neck as you exhaled a thick smoke. Your hands pulled the scarf away from your face as you looked up, staring at the grey sky that continued to release snow. Winter. It was already winter which reminded you of something from the past. You continued your way to your home, tightening your clutch on the strap of your school bag.

 _“Hi, I’m Sugawara Koushi”_ a voice you can’t seem to forget rand in your mind. Memories. You didn’t want to remember, but you just couldn’t ignore it. Him.

 _“You’re beautiful”_ you scoffed at the memory. You had told him you were not but instead…

 _“You are. And I’m lucky to have someone like you. Someone so beautiful inside out”_ you repeated his words in your head.

_“I love you so much”_

“I love you, too” you whispered to yourself as you bit your lip, trying to force yourself to think of something else.

You arrived at your house. It was empty like usual. With no sight of your mother anywhere. You made your way to your room, placing your bag on the floor beside your bed. You removed your coat as well as your scarf and hung it on the rack before sitting down on your study table.

You opened you phone, seeing an Attack on Titan wallpaper. You used to have Sugawara as your wallpaper but after what had happened, you just couldn’t bear to see a picture of him. You needed to move on. But you knew, deep inside that, you could never stop loving him. The only man who had made you smile, laugh and loved you with his whole being.

You slouched while opening a book you had to read for class. You had terrible posture and Koushi had to always remind you to straighten your back. It used to annoy you so much but now it became one of the things you missed so much about him.

_“why? Why can’t we be together? I know you love me too! I’ve seen the way you look at me” he said, a pained expression marked on his face._

_You bit your lip, as you fight the tears that are threatening to fall from your eyes. “Because we both know it wouldn’t work! I-It would just torment the both of us” you said, whispering the last bit._

_“We can make it work! I know we can” Koushi said, a tear escaped his lips, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence. “Please, just give us a chance. I can’t lose you, I love you so much” he added. You saw the desperation in his voice. You were desperate yourself but you knew a relationship with someone that wasn’t even supposed to exist in your world would be impossible. Someone fictional. Someone that came from a figment of someone’s imagination._

_“I’ll find a way for us to be together, please, just don’t push me away. I beg you, (y/n)” Koushi said, his face filled with tears, and his hazel-brown eyes that you loved so much was filled with sadness._

_“I’m sorry, let’s never talk again. It will only hurt both of us” you said as a single tear fell from your eyes. “I wish we had never met” you muttered and you saw how Koushi’s eyes widened before complete pain and regret covered his eyes. He smiled at you, “I’m sorry” he said and you knew he was blaming himself like he always does whenever you two would get into fights._

_You never meant to say those words but someone must have heard it because the moment Koushi apologized you never saw him again. All you could see in that mirror was your own reflection. It had been like you never met him except the memories never went away. You cried that night, you cried and cried until you couldn’t anymore. Oh, how you regretted everything, how you had hurt him, how you made his radiant smile disappear and be replaced with tears. You loathed yourself. You were the one who pushed him away and now you had no ways to undo what you have done._

You snapped out of your daydreaming, feeling something wet on your cheeks. You touched it and you didn’t realize that you have been crying. Your tears somehow have been uncontrollable these days and even the smallest memory of him has left you in tears.

“Why had this happened to me?” you asked yourself. 

6 months had passed and it was Koushi’s birthday. The 13th of June. You talked with him all night on his last birthday. He had planned a little birthday celebration just for the two of you to which he had brought leftover cake and you brought cupcakes. Koushi told you that he had celebrated his birthday with his friends and the whole Karasuno team. And how they had surprised him when he entered the gym. And he even managed to show you pictures which made you laugh after you saw him crying with a cake in his hands while Takeda-sensei took their picture. You felt jealous that day. He seemed so happy with his life, with his friends and his club, while you just had boring days and boring classes. Koushi filled your days with joy, he would often tell you stories every day which would cheer you up on your bad days.

You sat down on your study table as you took out a pen and a piece of black A4 paper. You wanted to write a letter to Koushi. Even though it would be impossible for him to read it. Or even talk to you again.

_Dear koushi,_

_Hi, it’s been a while right. Almost a year since we’ve last talked to each other. I wanted to greet you a happy birthday. I would never forget the most special day of your life. I’m sorry I can't celebrate your birthday with you. Im sorry I couldn’t be there for you on your most special day. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry Koushi, I’m sorry. I would do anything to be able to talk to you again. Happy 19 th birthday, Koushi. I love you and I always will._

_Sincerely,_

_(y/n)_

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if you all want me to continue this one shot and make this an actual story! thanks! hope you enjoyed it :)


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